Wishes

After Staying a Virgin Until Marriage I Couldn't Have Sex With My Husband

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Being a virgin later in life can be, perhaps above all things, an incredibly isolating experience. Some people grew up in religious communities or single-sex schools, which made sex more elusive or taboo. Other people felt unattractive or insecure growing up. Struggles with health, sexual orientation, and gender dysphoria were also common. For almost every single person, the biggest worry was not being good at sex, a very normal concern no matter when you lose your virginity. The longer you wait, the more experience potential partners likely have—and that disparity can heap on more pressure. Growing up in rural upstate NY really limited the amount of interaction I had with other gay men, especially ones that I was attracted to. I was one of the only queer people in my high school, so my pool was almost nonexistent to begin with. I went to a very liberal college with a large queer population, but during that time I very slowly came to the realization that I am in fact a trans woman, so I was more focused on that than trying to lose my virginity.

We can all agree the concept of virginity is waaaaaay overblown in today's society. Girls and guys! So after someone tells you they're a virgin, please, please, please don't respond along with any of the following. How are you still a virgin? Still a virgin? Is there a specific become old in which you are meant en route for lose your virginity that I didn't know about? I'm not still a virgin. I just haven't had femininity yet.

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